So I did something outside of the norm for me and I got in my car and drove to his place.

I hated the fact that I got no sleep the night prior and truth be told I wasn’t sure what I would walk into since showing up unannounced has many risks. I pepped talked myself on the way there I tried to call again unanswered so I turned my engine on and jumped on the freeway.i parked and walked to the door and knocked he opens the door and was nonchalantly saying hello as if he didn’t just fucking ignore my calls and texts the last two days. After the angry glares for a good solid minute, we talked. I was confused about what was going on since the last we spoke everything was going very well, we talked about moving in together he went to go look at the apartment I was interested in and he wanted a few days to think about the big move I said ok and he would call me in the morning two days go by and nothing.

He tells me he needed some time alone and that he told me this I repeat that he did not say anything about checking out just that he didn’t want to talk about the apartment. oh you are going to love this he then tells me he was at a friend’s place and with his mom talking about me short playback of that is that I’m dumb that’s the price of a house and to not move in with me. He was also advising he was scared to level up our relationship to that and with everything that’s happened in the past with him and how he keeps fucking up he needed to think. We talked for two hours and he apologizes and acknowledges how it wasn’t ok what he did.

I get in my car to leave and I linger around with my hands on my keys as they were in my ignition

I thought coming there would ease me and although it did there was still a voice telling me that this ordeal or whatever demons he had wasn’t over.

He notices I’m still at the apartment and calls me we talk until I make it home and ended the conversation on a great note with him telling me he was going to give me a call on his commute to work.

The next day he calls me around 7:30 in the morning I realize he woke up late since he was supposed to be at work at 6. He sounds mad tells me he’s going to call me later and disconnects the call.

I don’t hear from him until 1am claims he was sleeping and just woke up we talk about an hour then I’m telling him about a recent article I read he went on a rant about racism and how people need to stay out of the past This is one of those moments when I realized Politics are important, this black man called himself Biracial (said he was Panamanian and Jamaican) , said he understands Trump and thinks he is doing a great job, and said I made up what happened at the Tulsa Massacre because he never heard of it.

This was not desirable at all I was disgusted with him and even more disgusted that once he showed himself pretended like he changed his mind about what he toldme days prior.