Single in the city, The advisor


You lot that think you can ghost on people and disappear from friendships without a word, or otherwise run from human interaction without explanation should remember that you aren’t the only human in the equation and that you aren’t the only one who matters. You can hurt people. You don’t have to. (This doesn’t apply to abusive or toxic situations for obvious reasons.)

Some of you deliberately do this because you enjoy the feeling of knowing someone is disturbed by your absence. That someone is longing for you. This is extremely narcissistic and reflective of profoundly low self esteem. It is sick and violent, and is never enough to fill your emotional void. Divest yourself of this practice.

Consider that if you must remove yourself from society for your own health, a simple message stating that you need time for yourself and will not be responding to responses is often enough to assuage fears or triggers to someone else’s trauma, abandonment issues, and will go a long way towards NOT GASLIGHTING THEM. It’s the not knowing that triggers people to invent answers. They will do so based on their experiences. If those are traumatic, so will their response to themselves be.

The human mind doesn’t like uncertainty and will find a way to close a gap in its knowledge.

If it’s ‘not enough’, you said what you said.

You have the right to your pain but not the right to make new victims. Try not to cause unnecessary suffering in the world.

From :  Siete & Baba

Now, Of course, if the situation is abusive some people need that shut down and blocking them from the world that is not what this is about.

This is about dating, sleeping with someone months on end and then poof gone, only to show up months weeks possibly days later as if nothing has happened or lying about why you disappeared. I have made the mistake with The Panamanian  and allowed him to ghost me on several occasions that were an awesome learning lesson for me. Allowing someone back after ghosting tells them they can continue to do this and if you give them a shitty reason why you ghosted and they still allow you back in that it is perfectly fine to do this in the future.

As great as the communication with the advisor, the dates, the mind-blowing sex it has to end this is the 3rd time he has ghosted for days on end and came back with 2 lies and this time I’m not even waiting to hear what it is this time around.

I tried to contact or call/text for three days and blocked him on the 3rd day. Thank you  Next.

About KayDarden

My name is Kay, I am a Proud Texan, Mom of 2 genius babies lol and a Fur-mom. I love Fashion, Tacos & shoes. But I have realized over the last few years I am a serial dater I have stories for days most are crazy, sexy cool lol. I started sharing them with friends a few years back and thought it would be neat to journal my lessons on my blog. On my blog, you get a view of crazy dating scenarios and the lessons I have learned from them all, Fashion ideas, and also my frustrations since I chopped all my hair off and went natural.
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