Mommy Dearest Series

Mommy Dearest- A series on Toxic Motherhood-Part 4

The Car

Before I left home, the car my parents “gifted not gifted me ” not only was the car note not being paid but the Insurance I was forking over to my mother was being pocketed, I was in a car accident and the car was “totaled” and there was no insurance on it at all. I was required to provide as much of my check as I could to her and when it came up time to discuss college all the money my mother bragged to family members our family had was non existent (this was around the time I was applying to colleges and applying for scholarships too ) A month before school started after returning home from Leadership School for JROTC my parents were contacted by a recruiter with Texas A & M during this time the school wanted to have the school more diverse and I was invited to a few of their diverse social activities with the school along with the Corps of Cadets.

Texas A& M

The SGT Major spoke with my parents about the importance of me getting in the door there and what the Military would pay for me to go to school there. My mother brushed him off told him I wasn’t going to school there and would be attending a Community college to be by her side since she was dying. (My mother has been “dying” since I was 12). The day I was trying to show her all the books I had from the school and trying to explain how great a school it was I was frustrated and just screamed, nothing at her just a yell out loud we at this time were going back and forth for 2 hours about this. She told me I wasn’t going anywhere and I was not grown until I was 25 I told her she could not stop me and at some point, I was going to get as far away from her as I could. She grabbed a wine bottle and charged at me with it I ran outside and went to our neighbor and called the police when they came she made it out that I was this troubled teenager and they scolded me and told me I needed to behave and listen to my mother.

My crash course on Credit reports

When I left home the first thing I did was try to get a car since I knew I needed to get around for work and school so I went to the Credit union I was apart of since I was 15 to apply for a car loan. I was denied she advised me my credit score at the time was in the 400’s. I am of course shocked and confused I am like I do not have any credit she advised me I did and printed my 7-page credit report. we sat down and looked over the report and she pointed out to me things on my report and showed me how to read it. Apparently, My mother had credit cards in my name , the light bill was in my name at one time , and several cell phones that they had me paying on that they were not putting the money towards it and they were getting shut off and they went and got them all in my name (also explains why my mother held a Kung Fu grip to my social security card and fought me when I tried to leave with it in my purse) she ran my credit through the ground which I had to just wait 7 years for them to fall off (I knew nothing about disputes then I was 18 at the time and the dispute process was much more different in 2004)

The car Part 2

My mother showed up about a year after I was married and left home to tell me I needed to pay to get the car fixed so my sister could drive it. I had her talk with my ex-husband we were still at a point of speaking where I could not talk with her without flipping out. he advised her to get 3 quotes and whichever was the reasonable one he would pay that one. My mother went to whoever she thought was the highest did not get the 3 quotes just that one and my ex sent her the money through Money gram. She got as much as the repairs cost and then called for more money which I told her no she screamed and called me out my name I didn’t talk to her for another year when word got around that I was Pregnant she reached out and extended an olive branch to me or so I thought. when we spoke she asked was it true I told her yes she started dramatically crying asking how could I do this to her she was too young to be a grandmother I explained to her at this point I had been married for 2 years now so it was going to happen at some point.

Baby’s bring families together right?

I didn’t speak to her again until my 7th month she wanted to send things for the baby I got the packages there were cameras inside and she wanted me to use the disposable cameras and send the pics back to her. I had my son in June of 2006 I took pictures and got 3 sets made one for me One for her and one for my ex-husbands’ mother I paid for all copies and sent my mother her copies. She called me to let me know she got the pictures and I told her I had copied and sent some to my exes mother why in the hell did I do that she flipped the fuck out. Screamed at me through the phone and told me I wasn’t supposed to send her pics to that trash (I am still to this day very territorial over my ex-husbands family and will fight someone if they speak badly about them because of everything they have done for me ) so of course I flipped out on my mother she then called my son an ugly monkey and looked nothing like a Darden and looked like his father .

A whole bunch of WTF Moments

Image result for wtf gif

I am not sure who he was supposed to look like but ok. Click. phone hangs up. My father reaches out to tell me I was dead to him since I can not respect my mother and know where my place was as a child (this went on for over 10 years when my mother and I fought he would say this and we stopped speaking for months or years on end).

A friend from High school advised she had met my mother when she came into her nail salon . I would tell stories about my mother and no one believed me until they heard her live ass voicemails or seen her disturbing text messages to me. My mother sat in her salon chair (my mother didn’t know we even knew each other) and went on talking about my life my marriage and how shitty of a person I was. Also told her I was pregnant in high school and then got married after. To this day my mother still spews this she doesn’t know my sons birthday his full name or how to even spell his name but I digress.

About KayDarden

My name is Kay, I am a Proud Texan, Mom of 2 genius babies lol and a Fur-mom. I love Fashion, Tacos & shoes. But I have realized over the last few years I am a serial dater I have stories for days most are crazy, sexy cool lol. I started sharing them with friends a few years back and thought it would be neat to journal my lessons on my blog. On my blog, you get a view of crazy dating scenarios and the lessons I have learned from them all, Fashion ideas, and also my frustrations since I chopped all my hair off and went natural.
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