Toxic Relationships series
To catch up on the toxic relationship series check out :
Moving too Fast Part 1 recap
We discussed moving too fast after leaving and having your self-esteem intake before you jump out there in the dating worlds.
Putting you first Part 2 Recap
The best thing you can honestly do before dating again is loving yourself and if you have no clue I offer great book resources in part three to show you how or how to get on the right path for you. This is the best time after the break up to reclaim your time and understand your worth.
Part 3 Recap
Think about you and what you have to offer, now think of the bad and unpack that now do not find yourself out here dating and behaving like the ex you just ended things with him. If you have no idea how to love yourself this is time to find yourself, seek help: therapy, meditate, or jump into some great books some of my most aha moments have happened after I read a book that told me about myself lol.
I had too many to mention that tried to rush me into a relationship with them and when are fresh off something toxic your mind is still very much clouded to realize how much of this is a bad idea. When I was separated and jumped into a relationship after I left that a year later I was in another one 3 months later. Please listen when I say this; had I taken a moment to sit back and heal and realize a lot of the red flags neither of those relationships would have happened. Someone that you think would be a man that knows what he wants is definitely being confused with a man trying to get you exclusive too quick.
The warning signs are :
- requesting you to be with him and only him within 30 days of meeting
- Sex before you are ready or even if you have thought of him in this way
- Moving in together after knowing him for a month
- saying I love you very early on
- sharing Passwords, Emails, joint bank accounts
It all sounds sweet, huh and wonderful I had one that jumped at the chance when I was going through financial troubles to come in and “save the day ” this is called Love bombing it feels like he is sweeping you off your feet and saving you but he is actually grooming you and preparing you for the trap that he is going to set when you become comfortable .
White knight? Or fuckboy in tin foil?
he knows what he is doing and knows exactly how to get you the dates are amazing, the sex is mind-blowing he treats you like you are the most amazing gift given to him. Now I am not saying that you can’t get all of this with a great guy because truth be told there are several men out there that do this without motives but the difference between them and these guys they do not have to pretend. it also will not feel like there’s a huge pressure on you. when you get all of this from a great guy feels effortless, it feels right, anytime I got love-bombed there’s a piece of me that knew this didn’t feel right or true and I was never wrong . Listen to your intuition it will never steer you wrong.