Day 22: In Chapter Sixteen, I discuss “Why We Cling to People Who Don’t Love Us.” Talk about a time when you clung to someone who didn’t love you, why you think you had such a hard time letting go, and how you finally tapped into your inner “enough-ness” to walk away.
I think I’ve only briefly talked about mr. Big he was the first person that I was just enthralled with when I moved back home and 2015. It wasn’t a relationship it was a friends with benefits and it taught me a lot about myself about what I was willing to accept and it really changed my whole mindset with dating for the years to come one of the things that I realize with him early on as he was always honest about what he wanted. But I think a problem that I was having is I was not willing to listen and I find a lot of women have these issues with dating you have a man who is being brutally honest and letting you know exactly who he is what he wants and what he’s looking for and to be perfectly honest his actions did not match the words that are coming out of his mouth so it was very difficult for me at times to be honest about the situation that we were in. A lot of times women are dating or in situations with men and they have this Grand Illusion about what they’re actually in and there were times where I thought that he was the one I thought I wanted him so badly that I was willing to sacrifice a lot of my own dignity to be with him and to be perfectly honest during this whole 10 month whatever it was he was in a whole other relationship the entire time and there were parts of me during this that was utterly beside myself with grief on how he was treating me how he was carrying on and how he was behaving. But to be honest the best thing that assisted me with moving forward was the fact about finding out that he was in a relationship I think a piece of me wanted to disengage from him so badly that I needed something so terrible to happen with our Dynamic for me to be able to fully walk away from him which in a sense now that I am thinking about it was really bad a lot of the times you shouldn’t wait until the grand toxic wave comes through you should honestly be able to cut something like that quickly and swiftly.