Day 10: In Chapter Seven, I talk about my experience with spiraling into clinical depression. Talk about your own experiences with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health struggle. If you haven’t been affected personally, share your insights into how you stay mentally healthy.
When I was pregnant with my daughter in 2008 I was also going through a lot with my emotions and hormones I want to say it was the pregnancy it kicked my ass I’m not even going to lie. It was not the easiest of pregnancies and to add on to those stressors my ex-husband was cheating and I’m not talking about any cheating I’m talking about in your face blatant obvious cheating, it even went as far as him leaving the house at one point and moving in with one of his mistresses. She was at one point calling my phone several times I had to actually had to change my number she showed up to my doorstep asked me like are you, Kay,? and I was like yes I am and she’s like okay I think it’s time for you to get out of my house.
I’m sorry what? her: you need to get out of my house this is my house I’m the new Mrs. So I’m thinking to myself this lady doesn’t know me I think you have the wrong house and then she goes on to proceed to tell me oh I know you and I know your husband very well Jay I’m thinking to myself she definitely does not know me and then she proceeded to talk about the car he drove what he did in the military and I’m like oh wow she definitely knows him. Only thing that didn’t make sense was she kept saying his name was Jay, I had to finally tell her that my husband’s name isn’t Jay and I’m terribly sorry you’re mistaken and you may possibly have the wrong house and I closed the door feeling proud and strong but my mind was really messed up after that whole ordeal .he eventually comes home and he’s not even home for 15 minutes and for some strange reason I have no idea how she had the new number she calls me saying he was over here at my house and then hung up the phone.
I wanted to take my car and drive it off the side of the cliff I don’t know what I was thinking but I knew that something about my thought process was not right and it needed to be fixed immediately and this is something that I realize with my depression and checked myself into a hospital. For about three and a half weeks while I was pregnant with my daughter now I was in this facility after I had my daughter I had postpartum depression and it was again another moment of my life that I didn’t even realize I couldn’t grasp it like I would before pregnancy, I needed to get help I was prescribed Zoloft assist me with my depression and I mean that whole ordeal going through something like that and toss a pregnancy in the mix, which is supposed to be a joyous occasion.
Don’t get me wrong I was so happy about our daughter, it was just a lot to take in. I think now when I had those moments and it’s usually seasonal depression I’ve noticed that over the past few years when I do have it I know what to do to take proper steps for self-care for myself to feel better to feel happy and not feel blue it hasn’t gotten to the point of me having to take antidepressants again in over 9 years but there are times where I feel like okay it’s time for therapy it’s time for some self-care you know I take the proper channels to make sure that my mental health is the best that it can be for me.