Day 11: In Chapter Eight, I share all the reasons why I think I’m still single, the good…the bad…the ugly. Talk about all the reasons why you think you’re still single. Don’t be afraid to be really real and raw and honest. If you’re not still single, talk about a time when you were single and lonely and afraid that love would never arrive.
I’m going to get a basis on why I was particularly single the three years total.
I was single my first year because I didn’t understand how to date and date like I did before, which was very problematic and toxic behavior .I was trying to rush into things I wasn’t vetting men properly and honestly I was giving up all of the goodness of myself to people that we just weren’t worthy. I knew these men were not looking to date , and we’re honestly there to use the me and once they got what they wanted whether it be mental, Soulful bonding, sexual they got it and they were gone.
Now my second year of singleness was me trying to take a lesson in past history books for myself and not backtracking to men that have previously hurt me men . My second year was a lot of time a lot of me going back to men that I had previously dated and recycling them all over again and these were men that were emotionally unavailable, these were men that I could not give me exactly what I wanted as far as my standards. I was lowering my standards a lot for the men that I dated within my second year of being single .
I just had not found myself , or my voice , or standards.
my third year is honestly when the ante went up that’s when the standards were raised that’s when I felt better about knowing who I was and who I wanted. I was very quick to cut someone off if they just did not meet what I was looking for and that’s not to say oh you’re being picky. I couldn’t listen to people telling me that I was being picky (especially when they didn’t know my story) because the moment that I wasn’t picky that’s when all hell broke loose for me so I instead of letting someone wait out their time and trying to see what they’re about when it’s something extremely toxic and it’s something that is an extreme deal-breaker for me I immediately cut them off , so a lot of my third year singleness was me going through men like it was like a washer cycle of course this all stopped when I found the Panamanian.