Vetting Series

Why Vetting is so Important Part 4

Few mistakes I made in my marriage with money were:

not setting up a budget for our household

not save for when it was time to end

 I know how that sounds, it’s like a bad idea to already think of leaving when you are married but my mother has been married for 34  years and she always told me every woman should have mad Money. I had no clue what she meant until I was mad and broke and wanted to leave my ex-husband. As a woman, we should make enough to pay bills, have some in savings for a rainy day and have another savings for when we get mad. My friend would joke with me that I was using my mad money to set aside just in case it is needed for bail lol.  My ex and  I had separate and joint accounts I think with the mistakes we both made I would always have a separate account from the future person I am with. I am working  (Lots of blogs on this later) on building my credit  I had great credit midway and then it was terrible again. I realized I could not do anything without great credit and without my husband’s co-signing something which never feels good.


I want to have that they cant say no to me credit and when I was with my  ex it was a hit and miss but being around  militrary there was honestly  no such thing as bad credit  if you were married to someone  in the  military .he, of course, took care of majority of the bills and  he would have wanted it all split down the  middle I am assuming  but  after marriage to him and then being with someone where I paid  all the bills and then getting in a relationshiop with someone who felt his ex-wife took advanatage  of  him he and I agreed to me taking small bills and he ended  up changing this whole  idea at a later time  . I felt hat  this is something that would be based  on the couples there are some women out there that feel that 50/50 is a good  idea  I honestly  just cant  see myself  doing this and  not look at my partner like a room-mate I want to contrubute to a household but I do not want to be doing it solely when we had children I found myself  working and  paying for daycare and it got to a point where everything  was pointless when I wanted to stay home with the kids he declined and  I worked, saved and  eventually left him .

With Money, these  are questions that should be asked before moving  in together much less before you are even married

How do you handle money?
Are you a spender or a saver?
Will you have separate checking accounts or a joint account?
What are your financial goals?
Are you expected to contribute equally to the household?
How will this change once you have children?

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About KayDarden

My name is Kay, I am a Proud Texan, Mom of 2 genius babies lol and a Fur-mom. I love Fashion, Tacos & shoes. But I have realized over the last few years I am a serial dater I have stories for days most are crazy, sexy cool lol. I started sharing them with friends a few years back and thought it would be neat to journal my lessons on my blog. On my blog, you get a view of crazy dating scenarios and the lessons I have learned from them all, Fashion ideas, and also my frustrations since I chopped all my hair off and went natural.
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