Your sadness is not my fucking sadness and I won’t let it be

So now I am in a whole therapy session with Nate? Is this my new normal ? Is this how successful relationships happen ? I honestly have no clue ain’t a look at the relationships in my life my grandparents, my mom and dad even the ending of my very own I do not have any great examples of healthy love .

I have tried couples counseling with my ex-husband that didn’t go so well since he lied lol. Marcus, I tried this with him and he didn’t like to face the music with the therapist especially after she called him a sociopath in our session. So this is new not so new territory with me but a new territory with Nate this week our focus was on having an actual date night and not allow nates ‘dark times” become my dark times. I never realized how much I allowed other people emotions to then become my emotions I was asked in this session to not get dark when Nate does and give him space to sift through his thoughts and feelings and when he allows me in to be empathetic and listen allow him to vent and ensure he knows I am not judging him (what he feels that I do to him) . So he is sad and it’s been 4 days since I have allowed him to have his space to get through this and I just started today to get out of my feelings and starting to feel like myself again and my mind is now starting to look at singlehood again. perhaps this is my Codependency rearing it’s ugly head again I am not sure but I am supposed to be moving into our apartment in 2 weeks and he and I have no discussed it since this was also something he did not want to talk about either. this has been a fun week.

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