Let’s begin with a word: peace. Amidst the challenges and emotions of recent times, finding peace has been an arduous task. Trying to heal while sharing the same living space has proven to be an uphill battle. But the last 90 days have been a gift in disguise, offering me an unexpected opportunity to break free from these confines.
I took this time to build a savings cushion, turning it into a means to pay my bills ahead. The weight that lifted off my shoulders was remarkable; it allowed me to step away from financial worries and begin a journey of exploration. The city will became my canvas, travel will became my therapy, and healing became my purpose.
Early on, a therapy session opened doors to self-forgiveness. As anger and frustration churned within me for allowing certain situations to unfold, I also recognized that I needed to extend compassion to myself. In a way, my intuition had whispered warnings, but I didn’t heed them. The therapist’s guidance helped me realize that sometimes, learning to forgive oneself is the first step towards true healing.
During these 90 days, a significant realization emerged: I had inadvertently handed others the blueprint for how to treat me. A pattern spanning 15 years came into focus. A dance of compliance followed by unveiling masks, leaving me bewildered and pained. The therapist’s words echoed in my mind, urging me to examine this cycle. It dawned on me that what I had thought was a wise approach to dating turned out to be a recipe for toxicity.
As I dedicate hours to therapy, the path to self-love becomes clearer. Loving myself deeply is a critical step; it’s the foundation upon which healthy relationships can flourish. Reflecting on past relationships, I see that my lack of self-love played a role in their challenges. Now, I commit to nurturing my own heart and soul, trusting that this journey will lead me to a better version of myself.
This period of healing also prompts a revelation: I’ve often put my dreams on hold for the sake of others. Relationships have shifted my focus away from my goals, making my aspirations secondary. The realization dawns upon me that it’s time to prioritize myself. While the idea of self-care might sound selfish, I understand its necessity for my growth.
And so, instead of leaping into the dating pool, I’m taking a different route. The remainder of this year will be about me. The pain and hurt I currently feel deserve attention and resolution before inviting someone new into my life. The coming months will be dedicated to self-care, personal growth, and tending to the important matters that need my focus.
I’m excited to witness the transformation that will surely come from nurturing the relationship I have with myself. Thank you for being a part of this journey.
