I realized last night why I hate Friends with benefits situations.

 Yes we’re having sex and we’re exploring each other’s bodies, but at the same time, there’s some level of friendship there. For some strange reason, I’ve always come across men that utilize me as a therapist during our whole FWB arrangement.  Last night after a phenomenal 3-hour sex-fest we got on the topics of lovers he stated when he would be back in town that I will already be in a relationship.

this is the moment that he confessed that not only had he slept with someone in my apartment complex he was currently balancing four under 25 years old’s. So at this moment the friend hat is placed on, so one, in particular, he went in to deep conversation that she was 23 (now he and I  are in our mid-thirties) I am asking him why in the world you date someone in their early twenties and they haven’t had a chance to experience life. He went on this long rant about older women and it didn’t really answer the question on why he had a preference as of lately for younger women. Now, this friend of mine is a commitment-phobe he has several children with several different women none who he has never married, he has a very hard time with loving and usually will have a bevy of women at his disposal.

We have also discussed in the past how the moment that the woman becomes pregnant the thrill or her  “allure” is gone.

He had his twinkle in his eye just like he did with the last woman he begged me to help him make amends with (this was after he cheated on her and had another baby with another woman)

 

I also expressed to him that there would be nothing of benefit for her and her life to become one of his baby mother’s he is not a rapper, nor was he an actor ,nor was he a celebrity or a man that made millions in the real estate market or an oil tycoon he was a regular guy with lots of kids. So then he went on another rant about how older women don’t want to have kids and they can’t have children I advised him but that is not the case with me I just protect myself and I don’t want to have children with a man like him he didn’t understand why the young lady wouldn’t be happy to have a child with him.

This is the point where we as women have to hold our self accountable for a lot of things

 The moment that you do not use birth control is when you said yes to having a child. I have taken those steps into making sure that I don’t get pregnant.

I pity her and the other women that he has children with at some point they were all this young girl. He shared with me that she was just so different and they shared intellectual conversations and when I asked him about what; he was like aliens, aliens?

I took a deep sigh as he was contemplating going to see her again, I looked him in his face firmly and told him please leave her alone let her live her life let her flourish she can’t do that if you’re in her life she won’t do that if you give her a baby.