I was asked to be transparent

and honest and open when we communicate with one another. This is what he asked of me in the therapy session. And to be very honest it wasn’t something that I’m used to, in  relationships that I’ve been in there are a lot of things about myself that I kept to myself. A lot of the times when I am keeping things to myself it usually has nothing to do with my partner and a lot of the times it has everything to do with myself and things that I need to fix for myself. But I eventually tell them what’s going on but it’s after I’ve already fixed whatever the problem was.

So I was able to get a job

working for a whole new company I was under the impression  it would be more money one week into training I realize that this was not the place I needed to be at and it was just a place to buffer to my next job. So I knew that I was going to probably take a financial hit for a little while , in the meantime I prove myself to this new company before I can then start qualifying for bonuses again. From the month that I decided to leave my previous job up until the point that I was outside of my probationary period, which was about 4 months. I started going over my finances and the sudden write up that I had received at my last  job I realized I would be out a little over $3,000 while I was in this transition phase from one job to another.

When The second month

came at the new job I had realigned all my finances to adjust to my new income so a few things were taken away and only what was needed was kept  The space that he had created at this point built a level of confidence within me to really push forward. This is also around the time that we were apartment hunting at this point we have been apartment hunting actively for about a month. Prior to the summer we were actively discussing talking and looking at places for about a few months we took a couple of months off from the looking and then when the new school year started for the kids we picked back up on it again.

When I first moved

to Texas I was able to get an apartment and I signed a one year lease from 2015 until 2016 I stayed into this apartment my final month I ran into some financial woes with my  job at the time they were starting the process of cutting hours which eventually moved on to layoffs. The layoff devastated me I worked for this company for over 5 years and it came to as a shock more or less. Once I started working at my last job I was able to save up purchase another car build a nice Chunk in my savings account and I was able to elevate myself to move to a luxury apartment.  I think staying in a complacent mindset and doing the same thing over and over again doesn’t necessarily provide successful results at least not from personal experience . I signed a 15-month lease and the lease came to an end and him and I were discussing about moving in together. We applied to two apartments total that denied the application due to my eviction.

A lot of apartment complexes

just do not accept people with evictions it doesn’t matter how long the eviction happened no evictions.

I usually will compile a list

of well over 20 apartments I’ll sit down research them take a look at the reviews get in contact with them to get an answer on whether or not they accept the eviction if they do I move on to the next person on my list once I get a good idea of where we’re going then I take an opportunity to tour the property. Sounds easy enough right?

I tried sitting down

and talking with him and discussing that people in my case go through. He still sounded upbeat hopeful and still very supportive I was more so beating myself up about it because it was our second time receiving a no. After the last apartment told turned us down they somewhat advise us that they can still try to help us out and that we needed to provide a bunch of documentation to show proof that I stayed in apartments after my eviction I provided all the documentation .

After about 2 weeks

and a lot of back and forth we received the official deny. Still upbeat and he was still positive until he wasn’t overnight  his mindset about me changed. And I went from someone with a strike of just a little bit of an inconvenience and to stop being so hard on myself and he understood, to a liability. He felt  I had honestly no reason to say anything to him about how he was responding to the current events because I was in no place to put any judgment upon him. But he told me that he had every right and reason to be judgmental to me because he had a career because he had a home his lease was not running up he has savings and financially he is doing quite well in his life. At this point him and I were very close to reaching our one year anniversary and during the entire time it has not been a cakewalk nor do I ever expect it to be. However, any trials and tribulations we did have watching the evolution of working through and resolving a lot of our problems was something we did quite well we knew we had to be transparent with one another we knew we could not be judgmental with one another and that we needed our partner to know that we weren’t against them and that we’d be there for them.

The man that I’m currently looking at now

and the man that I see it’s not the man that I’ve been in contact with all these months. I don’t know who this man is he’s unattractive, it’s controlling, it’s manipulative.  His tactics and the communications and the way that he speaks to me and the silent treatment that he provides, he’s defensive, he’s mean and he’s downright hateful. The conversation more or less was him stating to me that I needed to downsize my apartment to a one bedroom I needed to find a cheaper apartment and in a roundabout way try to present that to me as advice. Not that those two apartments were not the places for us but we just didn’t need to live together . I could feel everything with this relationship unraveling