My stories with Nigerian men specifically never end well with me.

I want to slightly blame cultural reasons or differences but at some point, I do want to sit back and ponder why this happens. I find it to be the same wash and repeat with them

we meet and talk on the phone (I’m super old school on this factor and usually can gauge a lot about a man even before I meet them in person) they fall in love after 3-5 business day and then want me to be their girlfriend and I’m like I don’t know enough about you and I’m not trying to rush. Also, during this 3 to 5 business days, we have gone on 5 dates because they are wanting to take every ounce of my time.

This was no different with Jay

Jay, I met on Bumble who after a few sentences wanted me to video chat to show I wasn’t a catfish.
Little tidbit on Bumble gives you the option to verify yourself meaning: I am who I am. I also like to post tons of pictures of myself all angles and full body and link my Instagram which is also public. Mind you Jay had 2 photos one in which he was sitting down

I advised him, no, and if he would like to see me we can meet in person. He was also reminded about being an unverified 2 picture nobody.

Jay thought I had a fun-spirited nature

and asked for my number, first phone conversation he wanted to go out that night and was advised I would be on a date. The next day when we spoke 10 minutes of the conversation he wanted to talk about my date.

Look I am honest to men I am dating that I date as many men as I see fit.

One thing I will not do is have a “girl chat ” with you about my dates lol. He was not happy about that and then wanted to plan for this weekend for our date. During the week he called me at work (He was advised this was not ok) and called me one minute before I was set to get off and when I advised him this was also not ok he tried to gaslight me, say I was too serious, and that I didn’t care about him like he cared about me because I was not answering my phone the exact moment he called nor was I texting back. While I was at work. The first thought that came to mind was:

Baby Ike was then advised he did not pay my phone bill

and even if he was work was not the place to have our get to know each other chats . his feelings were hurt and then I was called a mean queen.

From past experiences dimming my light and who I am for a man that was too insecure to see my worth and wanted to leave me broken never ended well. I am who I am from life lessons and not because some man broke me along the way. I do not have the energy to walk on eggshells for your feelings nor do I have to coddle you and assure you I like you every second of the day as if you are a small puppy.

The irony with him was the comment he made about me thinking too far ahead and this man just sat here mapping our future lol.