The High School Years

I realized very early in High School that my disconnect with Boys was odd I should not try so hard to appeal and make them happy and get them to like me (I also didn’t realize you can have Daddy issues with your dad in the home go Figure huh lol ). So add my approval for  boys  on top of  my mother  making it seem like  me getting  my period, breasts, ass, hips were literally the  worst thing  I could have done she talked about  my  looks  on a regular  basis  and  dressed me  like a potato sack or  in the  most  unflattering ensembles so I wouldn’t  look “Grown”. 10 years  and  therapy  bills later,  I realized the  moment  my  body changed or I became  ” a woman” my mother  in a sick way looked at me as competition.

Advice and my mother

My grandmother spoiled me and loved me more so I felt than my mother. She went into detail on my mother’s upbringing when I had left home and came to visit Texas on one of my ex-husband’s leave time from the military. She expressed they were poor she tried to make do with what they had and she was hard as fuck on everyone but especially my mother because black women at that time we’re considered lower than low and she wanted to prepare her for the real world of cruelty not saying this was the right way to go about it, but of course the times were different then.

The Getaway Plan

I felt like she tried to make up for when my mother dropped the ball, or when my mother took shit too far on discipline. There would be times she would walk in on her beating me until I pissed on myself, and one occasion she beat me so bad she had to put makeup on me at 10 to cover a bruise on my nose. The final time this happened I had welts all on my arms and the bruising on my dark skin and they were getting harder to hide with my senior year starting. The school officer at this time didn’t pry but advised with me being 18 this was considered assault and if I wanted any further help to let him know. Two weeks after turning 18 my best friend Heather helped me pack my items when she picked me up in the morning from school I would take everything that meant something to me and put it in my backpack, my parents didn’t notice a lot of the items in my room we’re missing.

The Day I left Home

The morning that I knew I wasn’t returning home my mother and grandmother we’re at the dining table talking and smoking cigarettes. I told my mother for the first time in my life confidently no and that I would not be home, she wasn’t sure what I meant and asked me to repeat it I said it again confidently and grabbed my purse tighter and looked at my grandmother.

The Aftermath

My mother Charged at me ripped my purse from me and I tried to get it back since it had my drivers license, debit card, and my social security card. The scuffle lasted less than 2 minutes before  my grandmother pulled my mother  off me and told her to let  me  go. I ran out the  house Jumped  in heathers car and went to school like nothing happened. I stayed with my best friends family for a few months before Moving in with my ex-husband family which started that whole story with him all of this happened in my Last year of High School.

Graduation

I graduated High School in May of  2004 Not one member of my family was there in attendance for me, not one soul. My ex-husbands family all came and celebrated.