Day 15: Also in Chapter Eleven, I talk about the power of SURRENDER. Share a time when you had nothing left to do but surrender, and how it impacted your life to just let go .
Join me with this challenge and click the image on the left
One of the things with dating that I realized I had a huge issue with was keeping walls up now in hindsight thinking about it yes I should have kept those walls up because certain men that were coming into my life we’re not worthy of me bringing any sort of wall down for them. I found myself being able to be very vulnerable and being able to surrender a whole lot of my walls down for a few men but honestly it was half of the wall it wasn’t the full total walls down, moats dried out the gates down, the arm guards and the guys with the bow and arrows they were all gone yeah that didn’t happen until I actually met the Panamanian I think this is the first time that I’m actually being vulnerable and this is the first time that I am letting everything down for someone because he’s been consistent, he’s been there and he’s been brutally honest with me , he exposed about himself there were other deal breakers for me of course as you guys know the story I walked away from the relationship and allowed him to come back once he was at a level that I felt was up to my standards. I feel like I should have this perfect relationship I feel like everything should be peaches and cream everything should be gumdrops and rainbows and unicorns but honestly it’s not our relationship isn’t perfect we fight in a healthy manner that is something that I’ve never had I never fought with a man that I was in a relationship with in a healthy manner it’s always been toxic is always been abusive it’s always been mentally draining and it has always been destructive for my mental health and my energy so I say this to say it’s much easier to be able to surrender. I’m very nervous about the end of this year we will be celebrating our one year anniversary next month and it has been a roller-coaster and it has been very difficult for me to be able to allow walls to come down to be able to know trust him with my heart and when it’s the right one it’s so much easier to do so and it feels better than it does when you do it with the wrong one
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