The idea that men and women cannot be friends without some form of romantic or sexual attraction between them is a popular cultural stereotype. However, in reality, men and women can certainly be friends without any romantic or sexual interest in each other.

 

I have two associates who have always provided excellent advice, laughs, and safety these are the only two men I have come across that are straight and have not crossed boundaries with me. Now one of my best men friends is not straight, and having him in my life is fantastic, and he is thought of in great regard. I understand that men and women can be friends, but I also do not participate in them after realizing they usually have other motives.

I recognize that Sigma has a very different life; his mother was now an ancestor, and he seemed to have taken on an adoptive mother whom I met on Zoom and spoke with. Her first question was to ensure that I was okay with her being his mother, and she wanted to get this out of the way right now. The Sigma had already advised me before meeting her that her daughter and he used to be in a relationship, they broke up, and he became her brother. Was this weird? Yes. Did this affect me? No. I honestly was indifferent about this, especially since his sister/ex was married and had two children, and they behaved like brother and sister.

Socialization:

Men and women are often socialized differently and may have different expectations and attitudes toward friendships. Men may be taught to be competitive and assertive, while women may be prepared to be nurturing and cooperative. These gendered expectations can create challenges when men and women try to form friendships, as they may approach the relationship differently.

Sexual attraction:

 

While it's not always the case, sometimes sexual attraction can develop between friends of the opposite gender. This can create tension and awkwardness in the friendship and may cause one or both parties to question the nature of their feelings.

So The Sigma coming to me about meeting his best friend and that she was a woman honestly again, not a blink from me, now my friends who talked with me about men who have women best friends are instant red flags, I told them to chill until I found out that his best friend was a woman and a woman who was his ex and they were intimate at some point. My intuition was screaming at me that this woman would be a problem, and I advised him that she was likely still in love with him with how she was acting. He and her friendship suffered because his ex-wife suggested to him he would have to pick and he picked his wife.

This caused a massive rift in their friendship, and he wanted to men it so he invited her out to Texas for a week. I thought it was a good idea until I found out that she was not getting a hotel but would be staying with the Sigma, the same Sigma with the only piece of furniture in his home was a king-size bed. I expressed how inappropriate this was, and he argued with me until he said he would get an air mattress. While this was occurring, she was also discussing and yelling at him, according to the story he told me. I made it very clear that if another boundary was crossed by him, this between us would be over. I didn’t think I needed to argue with a 30+-year-old man about limits within a relationship, but here we were a few months later, arguing about women he used to fuck.

Misunderstandings:

Misunderstandings can also arise in cross-gender friendships, mainly
if one party misinterprets the other's behavior or intentions. For example, a man may mistake a woman's friendliness for flirtation, or a woman may feel uncomfortable with a man's physical touch, even if it's meant platonically.

 

 

Jealousy:

If one or both parties in a cross-gender friendship are in romantic relationships with other people, jealousy can become a problem. Romantic partners may feel threatened by the close company or worry that their significant other has feelings for their friend.

 

I worked while they went out and explored the city; at least, that’s what I thought was happening since he took the week off at the end of the week; she and I sat down for lunch at Soul Food Vegan. We talked about her, her past, and her history with Sigma. I talked about my past and current with the Sigma; the conversation I felt was productive and pleasant, so much so a few days later, I invited her to my home with my children/ Was a more than kind hostess and offered some “herbal refreshments” lol she told me no thank you because if she smoked wed she would fuck the Sigma he wasn’t in earshot of this conversation.

 

Still, it took everything in my power to not snap in front of my children and realize that she could not be trusted. I waited until she left the next day and then had the conversation with the Sigma; he seemed to understand and was on my side; only a month later, they were still communicating like what she said to me was okay. We had another huge fight about this, only for him to advise me he was leaning back on communicating with her.

While there may be some difficulties with cross-gender friendships, it's important to remember that they are not inherently problematic. With open communication, mutual respect, and clear boundaries, men and women can be friends and enjoy meaningful relationships.