Books, Single in the city

He’s just not that Into you

I was supposed to read this book 5 years ago seriously and much longer not SO seriously.

Greg was a writer on one of my favorite shows of all time sex and the city and I recalled when this book came out and the big hype it had surrounding it. You are meant to read or gain knowledge on something when the time is right and boy did this come at the right time. Spending a solid 5 years in this dating game, I was able to find my likes and dislikes having my heart sort of broken and staying up way too late wondering why. The “best part” of dating was I came across men that had excellent mouthpieces and wooed the fucking panties off me only for me to wake up from my sex induced haze like fuck he wasn’t into me at all 🤦🏿‍♀️.

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I had to just assume this was apart of “the game” not realizing half of the shit I dealt with while dating I didn’t have to deal with had. I should have just focused on his actions and what was coming out of his mouth and I could have saved myself a hell of a lot of time. Word of advice:


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I have wasted my pretty, my pussy, my money, my energy and time on men that were just not that into me and you know the fucked up part about this? I knew they weren’t. Want to know what’s even more fucked up? Whew Chile, I made excuses as to why I thought they were unable to date me like I thought I should be dated. oh, he’s only texting me and it’s the same hyd, wyd, gm beautiful how was your day beautiful. I at some point of my dating voyage allowed men to do this for 30 days before I deleted their number ( not blocked deleted) only for them to appear weeks, months sometimes years later like they just didn’t disappear and I wasn’t many that they sent the same dry ass collective text messages to.

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I eventually had a method for this one don’t save their number until you meet them in public

( honestly you don’t even do this on the first date if you want to wait until date 3-5 I’m not even mad at that idea) I sync my contacts to my Gmail so no one important is lost that I save, but imagine this dude you meet on tinder who you never met showing up with a hey stranger text 3 years after the fact lol. Before you ask yes I have had this shit happen and yes he was mad I didn’t know who the hell he was.

Also, give a window on how long you want to text him and meet him

I usually give about a couple weeks (I only talk on the phone usually if they advise they only text I go ahead and block) if we haven’t met and they are in town I go on about my way.

I say all this to say that there are a lot of factors when a man isn’t into you and you should pay attention to it and exit stage left immediately to save yourself.
  • Unless you state otherwise from the beginning if his only conversations are about sex or he shows up every few months for sex. Stop making excuses he is just not that into you.
  • He’s married. he’s not going to leave his wife and in the small chance, he does he has a 95% approval rating of cheating on you. Your pussy is not magical he is also not into you and doesn’t respect you.
  • If he drinks, does drugs or engages in behavior that makes you highly uncomfortable and he acts like an asshole under the influence of these items. He values that high over you and definitely is not into you.
  • if he mentions that he doesn’t want to get married/isn’t ready to get married or a relationship period. he might be into you a little but isn’t into you enough to fully commit to you in any aspect.
  • he’s not fucking you. he’s not into you period (also may possibly be fucking someone else)
  • He ghosted you. Take a no response as a response he is a coward and unable to communicate like a grown-ass man with a 401k and knew you would challenge him he is not into you at fucking all go on about your life and find a man that takes you seriously.
  • He’s emotionally unavailable. He’s wasting your time  and  not  into you  
  • He’s  “busy”. If Barack Obama can hit up Michelle I’m sure “Teddy” who works in the plants can too. He’s not that into you a man will move mountains to get to you and see you smile.
  • he needs to get his life together. If you are not enough motivation for that man to get his life right he is not that into you and  Lowkey maybe an energy vampire run sis lol.


Check out the book here:

He's Just Not That Into You audiobook cover art

About KayDarden

My name is Kay, I am a Proud Texan, Mom of 2 genius babies lol and a Fur-mom. I love Fashion, Tacos & shoes. But I have realized over the last few years I am a serial dater I have stories for days most are crazy, sexy cool lol. I started sharing them with friends a few years back and thought it would be neat to journal my lessons on my blog. On my blog, you get a view of crazy dating scenarios and the lessons I have learned from them all, Fashion ideas, and also my frustrations since I chopped all my hair off and went natural.
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