Mommy Dearest Series

Mommy dearest a series on Toxic Motherhood-July 24th the day My mother died

The heart attack

2 years later I receive a phone call from my sister she advised me that this time my mother was in the hospital at this point my mother had been going to the hospital every so many months but this one was more or less on the borderline of seriousness. there aren’t very many times that I can recall throughout her adult life when my sister pleaded with me to see my mother I respect my sister very much so at this point I just did as she asked out of respect to her. My sister advised me and warned me of what my mother’s appearance would look like just to get me mentally prepared. over the years I wouldn’t say that my mother was never overweight. Makeup was her specialty and she always managed to find the perfect red lipstick. White diamonds were her favorite perfume and also the real diamonds. she prided herself In looking much younger that her age. this is not the same person that I saw when I walked into the room. I know they were shocked my father and my mother to see me I spoke to my dad for a little while and then he left to try to get some sleep. This was how I also knew that it was a very very serious event because my father never takes off of work for as long as I can recall I’ve never seen my dad take off one day except for the date of my grandfather passed and at this point he had taken almost a week off from work. My mother and I make small talk I briefly caught up on my most recent events in life. She told me she wasn’t feeling good and that she believes that she has suffered a heart attack. She discussed it is harder for her to receive her insulin and that it’s gotten extremely expensive over the past few years, she also advised at this point that she had cancer when I asked her what kind she couldn’t describe to me what kind my sister eventually told me at one point that it was a benign tumor that my mother had but they were unable to operate on it for the past 10 to 15 years because of the fact that she was a diabetic and her sugar levels usually never stayed under 300. After the small talk was placed out of the way my mother advised me that she had something very important she needs to tell me my mother for the very first time in the 33 years of my life she apologized and not just a simple I am sorry this was a full-fledged list of everything that she is ever done to me and how she made me feel, how she questioned my judgment in life choices, how proud of the woman I have become and the mother that I have become, she is sorry she pushed me more than she showed love. And she will always and forever love me.

Mother’s day

My mother came home a few days before Mothers day in 2019 .I came over with flowers and to spend some time with her and i walked in to a battlefield she was screaming at my dad , yelling that the nutrionist was trying to poison her (literally he ensured she had food that was for diabetics only) this was a huge reason my mother was having frequent hospital visits it has a lot to do with her eating like she was a healthy 20 year old which usually means a lot of junk. she wanted to go out to a Chinese food place my father and I both told her no and she started yelling and wanting to gut my father like s fish according to her so i left earlier than expected and spoke with my mother sporadically during this time before the kids came from summer vacation

Summer with the kids

Kids came in June for summer vacation and July 4th we went out to check out the fireworks while we were leaving my mother called and was upset that the kids were down in texas and that my grandmother had seen them and she has not laid eyes on them in almost two years . I tried to tell her I would talk to her about it later and she demanded I told her why , I reminded her about her behavior with the kids and at this very moment they were a little afraid of her . I was then spoken to in the tone and manner my mother assumed I was still afraid of her, I am not in the habit in forcing my children to interact with a family that makes them unconfortable . Again, my mother comes from another generation that thinks chldren should be seen and not heard. the conversation ended with her yelling at me and discconnecting the call I didn’t hear from my mother again until December 2019


My parents for whatever reason unknown to me were moving out of my childhood home , my mother wanted me to help them move I declined and over the course of 4 days I received disgusting voicemails from her with the final telling me I was dead to her along with a follow-up from my father stating the same

Entire Month of July

7 months later my mother called me in early July she wanted me to come over I tried on two occasions and she wasn’t feeling well and on July 23 my dad came home from work checked my mother’s insulin and it was 300 . A normal level is usually 30 and for the last 20 years my mother’s went up and down and 300 was usual, my dad checked it a couple hours later and it was 500. He called 911 and when they arrived and checked her it was around 700 . She was transported to Clear Lake regional Hospital and was admitted with a level of 1400. My mother was placed on a breathing machine and had two occasions when her heart stopped she had a DNR set on place and when her hearts stopped the third time the doctor did not resuscitate and she passed away at 3 am on July 24th.

Her memorial

My father was not ready to have her memorial in his eyes it meant he would have to say goodbye so after the family bothering him about it he decided to have it .

My father , my sister ( her boyfriend) , my uncle phillip and my niece and nephew myself and my significant other attended my mother’s memorial.

Not her 3 brothers who she over gave herself to , not family members that bothered myself and my father about the memorial on several occasions and I even had a family member ask me was it because we could not afford her memorial ( not realizing that it was already paid for 😒😒😒) my dad just wanted to have it on his own terms.

I am disgusted in my uncles and it placed a lot of things in perspective for me on people on my life and over exerting myself for people that do not do the same.

I am at peace with how everything ended with my mother because I honestly tried something of substance with her.

My mother apologized and went into details on where she went wrong and that’s all I was seeking .

My last conversation on her asking me to come over was her ending the conversation with telling me she loved me .

I am at peace I hope she can have the peace as well

About KayDarden

My name is Kay, I am a Proud Texan, Mom of 2 genius babies lol and a Fur-mom. I love Fashion, Tacos & shoes. But I have realized over the last few years I am a serial dater I have stories for days most are crazy, sexy cool lol. I started sharing them with friends a few years back and thought it would be neat to journal my lessons on my blog. On my blog, you get a view of crazy dating scenarios and the lessons I have learned from them all, Fashion ideas, and also my frustrations since I chopped all my hair off and went natural.
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