Why Vetting and the kids topic are very important
I had a friend that was in a relationship with a man for 5 years they started with the same ideas that neither wanted children
as time grew on my friend changed her mind and never brought it up or talked with her boyfriend and the demise of the relationship was that he didn’t want kids.
My kids are now at an age as well as I am that I no longer desire kids usually any man that I met I make this very clear to them when the topic of children comes up. Sometimes it’s a deal breaker sometimes it isn’t.
The Questions :
Few questions that should be asked (ask yourself these as well)
Do you plan on having children?
When do you want to have them?
If you face fertility issues would you pursue fertility treatment or adoption?
I feel with these questions, in particular, you can make an active dating decision on if you will go forward. If you know you do not want any more children it would be best not to waste the time of someone that does. I know some folks are in a time crunch on finding a great partner and having children and there is nothing wrong with that. Just make sure that partner is looking for the same thing to avoid anything down the road.I feel like the fertility issues will vary with different people since things may happen during the relationship and the issue on fertility may not be known at that time.
1+1= a crap ton of kids
How many children do you want to have?
Would you home-school or enroll in public or private school?
What are your views on discipline?
This could change when I was 19 and married I told my ex-husband I wanted 4 kids and for us to have all the kids before I turned 30. *side eyes* you could not pay me to have another kid, to be honest, I am only basing this off of the options I have sitting around me and that supposedly my eggs are drying up this very moment I am typing this. *even larger amount of side eye*. I was always in public school growing up this was honestly all I have known and what my wallets can afford. I recalled having the talk with my ex on discipline when we started our marriage and raising kids I was not a firm believer in spanking because of the abuse I endured from my mother as a child .it seems those roles are reversed although speaking the kids aren’t needed as they have gotten older but I’m a firm believer in it and he has taken the role as the I’m taking everything go stand in the corner kinda parent . I was in a relationship with my last ex and we didn’t agree on discipline and it caused an enormous rift in our relationship since he wanted to take discipline to the extreme so much so it was borderline child abuse this is something to keep in mine as well.