Original Blog was created in December 2020
So Friday I worked got myself mentally prepared for the weekend and knew that that following weekend would be very tough it would be the very first weekend that I didn’t have dovear. When I got off of work I went to go look at a few apartments courtesy of my apartment locator, one of the places I fell absolutely in love with I was so excited once the tour was over and it had been a very long time since I felt that way especially about an apartment so the very first thing that I wanted to do was reach out to the Panamanian he didn’t answer his phone no big deal it was about 6:30 so I know he’s probably driving in traffic at this point every day when he got off of work or by the time he got home settled from his day of work I would get a phone call from him. So that night I hear absolutely nothing from him the next morning nothing, I heard from him around 1 p.m. while I was out looking at other apartment complexes he stated he wanted to see the apartment that I had texted him about and he was on his lunch break if I could drive 20 minutes out to the complex with him. So I went we did our tour then we left I talked to him about 45 minutes after we left the property he did advise me that he was thinking about us moving in together and it being right this time but do two things in his past with his ex-wife he’s very conflicted about it right now. Told him I understood I get that he said he wanted to table the conversation and for us to talk about it in a couple of days. I said okay I asked him about the night prior and why I hadn’t heard from him he advised me that he got off of work drove home and went straight to sleep interesting I thought there was a small thing of deja vu rearing its ugly head again I shake it off a little bit (in the future anytime you get this feeling do not shake it off) and then I advised him that I will talk to him when he got off work today which he replies that he wouldn’t be calling me back that evening and that he would call me in the morning very well then I replied.
Sunday came and went I heard nothing from him I called and texted he read my text he saw that I called and he did not respond. there was a little voice telling me to go by his apartment not really my style but the more the night progressed the louder that voice had gotten. I got in my car drove 20 minutes to his place parked I guess my ancestors were looking out for me because he stays in a gated community and one of the doors is just so happened to be open. I knocked on the door loud Lee weighted heard nothing go on inside no rumblings so I proceeded to walk to the parking lot where he parked his car. His car was not there I called I text him no response I went home woke up in the morning to get my week started it was Monday of course I will set the clock in early for work since I left at my scheduled time on Friday I was going to come in a little early to get some work done.
I reached out again before it was time for me to walk into the building nothing. A whole wave of disgust and anger confusion poured through me I didn’t understand what happened what changed? Our conversations were going so well and then they stopped this happened before and at this time I wasn’t sure I could mentally handle another roller coaster with him again. It didn’t help that I had men coming all out of the woodworks to attempt to spend some time with me, here I was focused on this dude again. There’s a brief moment throughout my day of working that I just continue to ask myself why would he come back disrupt my life? this man begged on his knees practically with me to take him back and to give him another chance. Why would he continue to somewhat entertain his ex hide certain truths from me and then in the same state the sentence that he was in love with me and highly offended that I questioned it?
How can someone be so stupid I make the same mistake again even acknowledging that I was the best thing to ever happen to you. I often wonder what goes into the mindset of men who operate on this type of vibration how can one be so hot and then turn it off immediately and your attention is elsewhere I’ve never done that I honestly don’t think I have the makeup to do it but then again why would I purposely disrupt someone’s peace and then just walk away and disappear like a thief in the night what would I gain from that?
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